Matchmaker Matchmaker

Maybe I've watched too many episodes of Millionaire Matchmaker, or maybe I'm just gullible, but I always assumed that there was a secret almost magical art to matchmaking. I guess not. All it takes is thinking you're good at it if you wanna work at this SoHo office. Maybe I'll stick to dating Uptown.

Meanwhile, in small type at the bottom of the post, it states that compensation is performance based. I'd love to know the criteria for this one. $100 bucks if your clients get to first base!

******************

Become a MATCHMAKER (No experience needed - Interviews this week)
 
Matchmaking service looking for excellent networker with outgoing personality to join our local group of matchmakers.

You must be passionate about helping others with their relationships. Therapy related background or matchmaking experience a huge plus.

There are several main responsibilities:

~ Matchmaking (we will provide access to our list of singles - you have to figure out who to set-up)
~ Talking to singles (in person and on skype/video)
~ Assisting with the dating process (Usually fun, sometimes not so fun... you'll have to handle it all!)

We are looking for candidates who are sincerely interested in helping others overcome their loneliness and start successful relationships. You must be an earnest friendly person who understands people and have just the right amount of audacity to try and set them up.

Please send your photo, resume and a short cover letter describing why you would like to be a matchmaker. If you have a knack for finding matches and have set-up friends or family don't forget to let us know about it!

Interviews are being scheduled for this upcoming week (SoHo). For now this is not for a full time position.

• Compensation: Performance Based 

(Via craigslist)

I've done multivariate testing of all kinds of roast chicken

Two things got me posting this morning. I learned the expression "multivariate testing" (see job posting after the jump) and I've been introduced to the world of algorithm-based recruiting.

Six months ago, after being laid off, I submitted my resume to a number of reasonably appropriate establishments in hopes of finding something new. Now it seems I'm a match! For something that looks really impressive. That I should probably respond to just to see how far I could get before they kicked me out the door.

Without going into my actual qualifications, let's just say that if a human had looked at my resume, they would have determined that I was not actually a match for this. I'd love to see some stats on how effective this kind of recruiting actually is. And I want to be negative, but odds are this would get forwarded to others, which could land them the perfect candidate. Which is basically what I'm doing now... Here's the email followed by the job posting. Have at it!

******************

Dear [name],

A job opening matching your profile for a position of Executive Director of Digital Marketing-DOW00000M has just been posted in our Careers Section.

If you would like to review the posting and apply online, click here or click Jobs to consult the list of other positions currently available.

If you do not wish to receive further job posting notifications, unsubscribe here. You can subscribe again later, while applying for a position or reviewing your profile.

We thank you for your interest in Dow Jones.

Best regards,

Dow Jones Recruiting Team

40% of 18-29 Year Olds are Jobless

But it looks like things are picking up. The key to success is being flexible, with a keen interest in health care or info tech. According to Indeed, overall there's been a 53% increase in job postings since last year.

Entry-level job market best in 3 years

Good news, college grads: the entry-level job market is the best it has been in three years — but you may have to settle for less money and a position outside your preferred career path, a new report from Challenger, Gray & Christmas shows.

“There’s lots of positive news out there, and we’re finally seeing some significant job creation,” says John Challenger, chief executive officer. But before you start daydreaming about the corner office, he adds one caveat: The job market isn’t what it used to be, and it may not provide the “ideal job situation” for everyone.

Read more at Reuters »

The Money Making Job of Your Dreams

I subscribe to all kinds of newsletters, most of which I toss, but this one from The Ladders caught my eye this morning. Even though this skews way out of the reach of most people, something about seeing all those salaries laid out makes me feel hopeful about the future. One question, what the hell is a Continuous Improvement Knowledge Manager?

Good Monday morning,

I thought today would be a good day to celebrate the successes of your fellow subscribers in landing jobs so far in April. There are too many to list in their entirety, so here is just a sample of jobs accepted so far this month:

Account Director	$120K
Account Executive	$110K
Account Manager	$115K
Benefits Director	$120K
Branch Manager	$140K
Business Architect	$102K
Business Development Manager	$130K
Business Development Manager	$164K
Chief Architect	$172K
Chief of Staff/Estates Manager	$210K
Client Executive	$135K
Consulting Manager	$130K
Continuous Improvement Knowledge Manager	$110K

If you play your cards right, it could turn into a reality tv series.

I've probably watched too many episodes of Hoarders, for a neat freak. And maybe that's why I'm fascinated by it. I wonder how often people in the cleaning profession run across unbearably messy homes. And how often they just say hell no, and go home.

Housecleaning

Guntersville, AL
I need someone to clean the mobile home of my mother who is unable to clean the house herself. The job would be for at least one hour, at least once per week. The hourly rate depends upon the skill and quality of the cleaning. The initial job is not for the light-hearted, as my mother is a hoarder, but it is not impossible and progresses quickly once started. After that, when regularly maintained, the job should be easier.

$25 - $50 per hour

(Via Care.com)

I wonder if they do pedicures?

GIRLS WITH PRETTY FEET NEEDED THIS THURSDAY! ($400 per night average) (Financial District)

Date: 2011-04-19, 11:46AM EDT
Reply to: job-jgjj2-2334396479@craigslist.org

World Famous Foot Fetish Company seeking female models to be FOOT WORSHIP PARTY GIRLS for the next event THIS THURSDAY April 21st!

It's simple. Really.

I don't really need to add any more words to this, as they've used more than they should be allowed, for a 3 month gig. According to Word it's 6,888 characters. To be fair, the site that stole this post from who knows where probably destroyed any formatting that would have made this legible, but still...

Mobile Graphic Designer

Job description:
Title: Mobile Graphic Designer Type: Contract to perm - 3 months Location: Atlanta, GA Summary and Responsibilities: Our client is looking for a UI Designer to design the user experience primarily for mobile and tablet platforms.

World's Sexiest Design Project

I'm not a huge fan of ODesk or Elance, but I get the need for it. If there are people in the world that are willing to work for a flat $5, for a week's worth of work, who am I to stand in their way. That said, I'd love to sit in on the brief for this project. And what a great piece to have in your portfolio! Two people already think so.

logo design for pet product

Fixed-Price - Est. Budget: $5.00 - Posted Apr 11 (1 day ago)

Job Description
we need a logo for our website that sells dog poop bags

Skills Required:
logo design

Employer Activity on this Job:
Last Viewed: Yesterday
Applicants: 2 (avg $5.56)
Interviewing: 0

(Via ODesk)

All the chicks say I'm smokin'

The title got my attention and I can't wait to use it on my business card.

Can you picture this as Smokin' Hot Pediatric Oncologist or Smokin' Hot Ambassador to the UN or Smokin' Hot Thought Leader? Because this IS a role involving thought leadership. Yet, because it's advertising, and because you think advertising people get bored easily, you gotta get clever to peak their interest. Or better yet, you feel you have to appeal to fragile egos and general self-loathing by buttering them up a little. Mostly it just makes me feel sad for the industry.

Job Title: Smokin' Hot Strategist/UX Lead Designer Opportunity...
Company: Starpoint Solutions
Type of Job: Full Time
Location: New York City, NY

Job Description:

Our client is a globally recognized advertising agency with an exciting new opportunity for direct hire... UX Lead (Digital Strategy)

No explanation needed

This wins the prize for shortest job post ever. 8 words. I like it. It's to the point. This guy should take a lesson.

Hygiene (Murray Hill) 

Date: 2011-03-29, 12:20PM EDT
Reply to: job-3zpe9-2293317542@craigslist.org

Hygiene part time Thursday in a periodontal practice.

(Via craigslist)

Make sure you tell them...

I admit I'm typically a bit food obsessed, so food postings really stand out. This reminds me of high school, in a good way.

Clam Openers (Coney Island) 

Date: 2011-03-29, 12:30PM EDT
Reply to: job-wxwys-2293343023@craigslist.org

We have immediate openings for Experianced People who know how to Shuck/Open clams safely and quickly.

Days and Nights, Weekends, Holidays. (Weekends and Holidays required)

Please apply in person Nathan's Famous 1310 Surf Ave. Brooklyn NY and compete an application EOE

Make sure you tell them you are applying for the Clam Opener position.

(Via craigslist)

You’re our kind of sicko

A brilliant post. And what sounds like a fantastic job. Just spreading the word...

Journalism Heaven

We want to add some talent to the Sarasota Herald-Tribune investigative team. Every serious candidate should have a proven track record of conceiving, reporting and writing stellar investigative pieces that provoke change. However, our ideal candidate has also cursed out an editor, had spokespeople hang up on them in anger and threatened to resign at least once because some fool wanted to screw around with their perfect lede.

No Jerks

There are many "enthusiastic" requests in this post. But the one that stands out the most is the bit about no "jerks." While the intent is admirable, seeing as how they've faced this issue enough to need to call it out. I'd say that anyone who's a jerk would still apply to this job (if they needed a job) cause, you know what, they're a jerk!

I'd think twice before going somewhere with this kind of baggage.

Creative Director

Ideal Qualities:
Inspiring Portfolio and Experience: Let’s start here. You have a killer book. It proves you’re a brilliant strategic thinker and that you’re capable of engaging an audience through any medium. Sounds like some book you got there. We need to see it. TV, digital and strong healthcare-related experience are musts. And at least a few years as a proven CD at an agency are essential. Tell us about that.

You're Not Rich Until You've Got 7.5 Million

According to a Fidelity Investments survey in Boston, 42% of respondents say they'd need 7.5 million dollars to feel rich. I'm going to assume that they focused only on folks living in Boston, because I can't imagine that you'd need that much to feel rich in Texas. Or do you? (I haven't been to Texas in a long time.)

What that says to me, aside from how random and ridiculous people can get, is that I need to start scouring the web for more millionaire-making opportunities for you guys out there.

Millionaire blues: You're not really rich unless you've got $7.5M

How much does it take to feel wealthy these days? For many millionaires, it's about $7.5 million, according to a survey by Fidelity Investments. Read more at the NYPost

Ben & Jerry's Wants to Pick Your Euphoric Brain

Ben & Jerry's wants to fly you to Burlington for a week to pick your enthusiastic 20-something brain about new flavors and marketing strategies. You will be a board member for a year, during which time they will also come to your house and follow you around for awhile in your native habitat. There's a thousand bucks and 50 lbs of ice cream in it for you.

I often wonder who actually submits to these kinds of contests. There's essay-writing, video-shooting, quite a time commitment. But aside from all the ice cream eating (which I do anyway without getting paid), is this fun? 

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream 
Date: 2011-03-14, 12:45PM EDT

Become an Advisory Board Member!
If you are creative & have a passion for Ben & Jerry's, this could be the opportunity for you!

We are putting together a group of enthusiastic, euphoric-driven fans to create the first official Ben & Jerry's Advisory Board. As a board member, you will help us develop Social Mission and marketing programs to create even more brand fanatics like you. It’s not all chunks and cherries though; we’re going to put you to work!

If you are interested, visit us at www.benjerry.com/company/advisory/ for all the details.
All entries must be submitted to us at www.benjerry.com/company/advisory/

(From Ben & Jerry's via Craigslist)

How DO you kill a zombie?

This flavor of ad seems pretty right on for targeting this demographic of job hunters. Might have to test it out on a few nerd-friends.

Intermediate-Senior .NET Developer & Zombie Killer

About Us:
We’re doing some big things, and we need another allstar. Patient’s Guide is a small team of motivated Zombie Killers kicking ass in a burgeoning medical industry. We work in a fast-paced development environment building the best websites and apps.

Join the Sheen Team

I was really trying to avoid posting anything about Charlie Sheen. Like he really needs more promotion. But as long as he's hiring, I'm in full support. Quite possibly the most awesomely bad (or horribly awesome) job of the year.

TeamSheen Seeks Social Media Intern
Deadline: March 11th, 2011
Position: Full-Time, Paid
Timeframe: Summer 2011 (8 weeks)
Description: Do you have #TigerBlood? Are you all about #Winning? Can you #PlanBetter than anyone else? If so, we want you on #TeamSheen as our social media #TigerBloodIntern!

This unique internship opportunity will allow a hard-working, self-motivated, creative, resourceful and social media savvy individual to work closely with Charlie Sheen in leveraging his social network. The internship will focus on executing a social media strategy that will build on the success Charlie Sheen has attained in setting the Guinness World Record for the fastest time to reach one million followers on Twitter. The #TigerBloodIntern is expected to be proactive, monitor the day-to-day activities on the major social media platforms, prepare for exciting online projects and increase Charlie’s base of followers.

You will learn how to promote and develop the social media network of Hollywood’s most trending celebrity.

(Submit your resume via Internships.com)

Cute Overload or Poop Overload?

I guess a romantic notion of hanging out with baby elephants makes up for the fact that this pays less than working the cash register at McDonald's.

Lee Richardson Zoo (AZA Member)
Location: Garden City, Kansas, United States
Job or Internship: Internship

The City of Garden City has a summertime opening for a temporary Keeper Aide at the Lee Richardson Zoo. This is a Full-Time paid position during the summer only ($7.25 an hour, 40 hours per week for 12 weeks) and is perfect for college students looking for a summer job or someone new to the profession of zoo keeping. Successful candidate will follow instructions in the feeding and cleaning of a variety of animals and other related duties as assigned. Ability to lift 75 lbs, work outdoors and follow safety procedures essential. Applications will be accepted until the position is filled. Apply at the Administrative Center, Second Floor, 301 N. 8th Street, Garden City, Kansas.

(Via Indeed)

Promotion Potential: 13

This is not what I'd consider a bad job posting. It's fascinating - something you only imagine as a movie profession. It's certainly thorough. And precise. The only downside, besides the extreme nerd factor, is the part about working in Newark.

US Secret Service
Job Title: Criminal Research Specialist
Department: Department Of Homeland Security
Agency: U.S. Secret Service
Sub Agency: United States Secret Service
Job Announcement Number: INV-WJ007-11-DE

SALARY RANGE:	$50,154.00 - $119,935.00 /year
OPEN PERIOD:	Thursday, March 03, 2011 to Wednesday, March 09, 2011
SERIES & GRADE:	GS-1801-09/13
POSITION INFORMATION:	Full-Time Permanent
PROMOTION POTENTIAL:	13
DUTY LOCATIONS:	few vacancies - Newark, NJ; few vacancies - Dallas, TX; few vacancies - San Diego, CA
WHO MAY BE CONSIDERED:	All United States Citizens This vacancy is being concurrently advertised under merit promotion procedures INV-WJ007-11-MP. Candidates who wish to be considered under both procedures MUST apply to both vacancies.

JOB SUMMARY:

Building on a Tradition of Excellence and Meeting the Challenges of the Future

May have communication with others. May have to carry 30 lb boxes downstairs. Probably will have to code, or then again maybe not.

Really? Does it take this many words?

Web Developer/Designer 2011

Job Description: 
Job Title: Web Developer/Designer
FLSA Class: Exempt
Dept.: Marketing
Reports to: Director of Marketing

At Author Solutions, we provide the technology and services that make publishing easy, affordable, and available to anyone, anyway, anywhere, anytime. This mission provides as the foundation for you to meet expectations of customers both external and internal. A professional presentation is imperative and the expectation is that you will perform your job with enthusiasm, attention to detail, care and reliability.

If your dad's not a banker, don't bother.

I have a strong distaste for large, well-known companies that can't even pay minimum wage. Maybe you disagree?

Unpaid internship - Advertising
Location: 15 East 57th Street
Job Code: 191
# of openings: 1

Description
Chanel, Inc., a leader in luxury goods and Fashion is seeking an unpaid intern that can receive school credit(s) within our Advertising Team in New York City to assist with departmental projects, presentations, and administrative duties. Some of the responsibilities include

Oldie But Goodie: Monty Python Job Interview

It was oddly quiet on the search front today, so I thought I'd take a break.

Huffington Post Joins Search for New Libyan Dictator

Commenters can't decide if it's a meh or a pfft.

Libyan Dictator (Libya)

---

Date: 2011-02-24, 10:44PM CST
Reply to: job-qputs-2233322361@craigslist.org

---

Looking for:
- Political negotiating skills
- Team player
- Skilled in all aspects of torture

Nice to have:
- Military background
- Popular support
- Taste for distinctive clothing
- Reality show personality

We are looking to hire soon.

(Featured on Huffington Post via craigslist)

Do you wanna MARRY an inanimate object?

Casting Call: Are you in love with an Object? (Nationwide)

Date: 2011-02-25, 1:22PM EST
Reply to: casting@20west.tv

Are you in a ROMANTIC relationship with an object?

Do you find yourself physically and emotionally drawn to inanimate objects?

Do you want to MARRY or are you MARRIED to an inanimate object?

Can you relate to objects and things better than people?

If this sounds like you or someone you know, a major network television series is interested in hearing the story.

For consideration, please reply to this ad stating your name, age, current city, contact information, recent photo AND a brief summary on how being attracted to inanimate objects is impacting your life.

Thanks and we look forward to hearing from you!

(Via craigslist)

What happens to you if you don't follow their brand guidelines?

Graphic Designer - CIA
Work Schedule:    Full Time
Salary:    $49,861 – $97,333*
Location:    Washington, DC metropolitan area

Would you like the opportunity to work on the most important intelligence issues of the day? Consider a career in the CIA's Directorate of Intelligence. This position is for a graphic designer, with excellent skills in interactive multimedia. You will be a member of a team responsible for the production of interactive multimedia products that will be used to present complex intelligence analysis to senior policymakers, including the President of the United States. Opportunities exist to participate in internal training as well as external workshops and conferences.

In Case You're Pursuing a Career in Prison

Incarceration Guide - What to do in Prison



Watch the full series here.

Key Benefit: Guaranteed Survival of a Nuclear Attack, Fed Job 1956

A Fed job posting very clearly outlining the job requirements of the "Chief: Damage Assessment Division." With details around pre- and post-nuclear attack. This role was responsible for "translating likely patterns of attacks into losses of manpower, industrial capacity, and weapon systems output," as well as "assessing actual losses, for alternating alternate levels of output consistent with surviving resources and for testing feasibility of proposed new mobilization programs." Plus "development and maintenance of capabilities for both rapid and deliberate damage assessments in event of actual attack..."

See full job description at Ptak Science Books.

(Via Boing Boing)

Are You an Unemployed Rock Star?

There are no fewer than 81 job postings, hiring across the U.S., today via Indeed. Feel free to bookmark this link for ongoing use.

That's it, I'm moving to Spokane

“We plan to be voted “Agency of the Year” by 2013. Seriously.

Good work isn’t good enough. We need to get better and need creative leaders to help us pull it off. Magner Sanborn a Spokane-based agency working with brands in a range of interesting and emerging categories–clients who will allow us to do work that makes others say, “f*ck, I wish I’d done that.”

We move fast and furiously, and our clients love us for it. (We cranked out three Super Bowl spots last year in under four weeks.) But the work has been good, not mind-blowing…yet.

Here’s what we need: Innovators with a track record of developing, pitching and executing breakthrough integrated campaigns and branded engagement forms. Yes, you’ve worked at the best shops. And yes, you’ve won a shit-load of hardware for your previous efforts. But you also understand that innovation can serve a real and valuable role—that it’s not just about BEING creative.

What we don’t need: Posers. Whiners. People who aren’t willing to work their asses off. And people who aren’t willing to hang at it for awhile

Submit your info to jobs@magnersanborn.com. Please don’t apply unless you’re the real deal and ready for the challenge.”

(Via AgencySpy)

Finally. An Exception. Yum

TASTE TESTING Exciting opportunity to join a brand

Exciting opportunity to join a brand new cookies, crackers and salty snacks tasting panel for a major food company in East Hanover!

Hours: Mon. - Thurs.
Approx. 8-10 hours per week
AM and PM openings

We are currently seeking applicants with the following qualifications:

• Frequent cookie, cracker and salty snack users
• Gen'l interest in a variety of foods & flavors
• Non-smoker
• No Food Allergies
• Works well in a group setting
• Excellent communication skills

Applicants with trained descriptive panelist experience within the past 6 months will not be considered

973-812-1259
Source - Gannett NJ Media Group   

(Via Careerbuilder)

How thick are those gloves?

Need pet sitter for my snakes 2/25-3/08 - Denver, CO

I'm looking for a pet sitter/ snake sitter. I have two snakes that both stay in separate locked cages. I just need someone to go to my apartment while I'm on my honeymoon and check the temperature of the cages to make sure it is at 76-78 degrees and change the water in their cages daily. My snakes are not poisonous or big. If you worry about changing water from their cages; I have thick gloves you can wear. It takes about five minutes or less. I really need ne dependable who will do this daily for ten days.

$12 / Day - $20 / Day

(Via Sittercity)

Oh, You Mean the OTHER Hawaii

COME WORK IN HAWAII!!!! (Meridian)

MAUI WOWI HAWAIIAN COFFEES & SMOOTHIES...........................

Come join the Maui Wowi ‘Ohana and be a part of sharing the “Aloha Spirit” with each and every customer. We are looking for fun and energetic people who get to greet their customers with an “Aloha” and say thank you with a “Mahalo.”

Stop by our location at the 520 E. Franklin Rd, Meridian, ID 83642 from 7am to 7pm Monday-Saturday to fill-out an application and submit your resume.

Full and part-time positions currently available:

Customer Service – Hard working and energetic. Be the one to set the tone by greeting every customer with an “Aloha.” Get to learn about all our Maui Wowi products and share that knowledge with each new customer. Want to be the one putting a smile on kids’ faces? Learn to blend a signature Maui Wowi Smoothie complete with fun parasol.

Don’t miss this opportunity…..APPLY TODAY!

Store just opened on Dec. 18th and is becoming a huge hit! Now we need more staff!

(Via craigslist)

A Very Particular Man

This one just made me chuckle.  I'd probably enjoy having afternoon tea at his place!
XO, Your Hiring Manager

Perfectionist Seeks Perfectionist Housekeeper (Midtown)

This is a job for an extraordinarily detailed, compulsive neat freak who wants to achieve perfection in a household working 30 hours per week for a single very busy very particular man with no pets. Do not reply to this ad if you think it's ok to fold shirts without a template, if you think that organizing ties in color order is odd, or if you permit wire hangers in your closet. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU in such a case. But if you are compulsively neat, totally obsessed with organization and achieving household perfection, know how to make a basic lunch ever day for the employer, cannot stand the thought of messed up fringe on a carpet, can wash and iron like a pro, then this might be for you. The job is 30 hours per week, and pays $450 / week with two weeks paid vacation per year. Must be legal to work on the books, and must have impeccable references and the ability to communicate in English. Please do not waste my time if you are simply a basic housekeeper. The successful candidate joined Joan Crawford in her outrage when she pushed the planter out of the way to find a dirt ring on the floor. You do the same thing, and comet is your best friend, you don't mop but you scrub, and scour, and love the smell of clean. Please don't waste either of our times by replying if this is not you.

(Via craigslist)

Seeking Marketing Manager or Stripper

The Japan Shotokan Karate Association Pan American Headquarters
is located in Brooklyn, New York. We are seeking an attractive female 18+ years old
to train as a marketing manager, personal assistant and Karate/Fitness instructor.
NO MARTIAL ARTS EXPERIENCE IS NECESSARY. WE WILL TRAIN YOU !!!

The Story of My Life

Extras Needed for Gangsta Club Scene (Queens)

Hi, my name is Edward Bonfanti and I'm the director of a dark comedy called Gangsta Bitches. GB is about 3 older ladies, who attempt to take over the NY Underworld. In the scene, the 3 GBs meet at a nightclub to discuss their plans for starting a gang war.

Extras are needed for the nightclub scene. Male/Female, any race, ages 18-40s are needed. Extras are encouraged to bring friends. The nightclub is Club La Boom in Queens. The nearest subway stop is the Northern Blvd stop on the M/R line. The address for the club is 56-15 Northern Blvd, Queens, New York 11377.

The scene will be shot THIS Sunday February 20th at 4pm. If interested, please respond to posting, to confirm you are going. I will be shooting all day Friday so I may not be able to personally respond to your post but we do need a count of whose going. No pay but copy/dvd will be provided. Film will be taken to film festivals and seek distribution.

Thanks,
Ed Bonfanti, Director 

(Via craigslist)

Now I Own the Craft

WANT TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE A MOVIE??? (Upper West Side) 

I will teach you story structure! You will learn it quick and easy. It will be fun. We will meet one-on-one. It can be over coffee, food or whatever environment is best for you.
If you already know how to write a movie but just don't have the motivation- having a teacher is a great way to get it done. Many know how to lift weights, but having a personal trainer gets real results (if you don't like metaphors, then disregard that comment).

Two years ago when I was only 21, I thought I knew how to write movies (from my college courses, books I'd read and overall knowledge of movies) but then I started meeting with an accomplished screenwriter for one-on-one sessions (the best way to learn) and now I own the craft. Reading screenwriting books help. Screenwriting classes help. Knowing movies help. But there is nothing like learning a subject one-on-one. I always learned math better with a tutor.

I have worked as a script reader with major and minor production companies and studied screenwriting in college. I am currently putting the finishing touches on a script that I've been working on for 4 years.

If you are interested please reply with "I want to write a movie" in the subject line.
In the e-mail please tell me about yourself, you're availability and 3 movies you could watch over and over again.

(Via craigslist)

Are You an A-Game Imaginator?

PRODUCER/EDITORS FOR TV NEWS REVOLUTION IN HOUSTON

The TV revolution is upon us and the new Tribune Company is leading the resistance. We're recruiting a solid team of anti-establishment producer/editors, "preditors", to collaborate on a groundbreaking PM news format unlike anything ever attempted on local TV.

Don't sell us on your solid newsroom experience. We don't care. Or your exclusive, breaking news coverage. We'll pass. Or your excellence at writing readable copy for plastic anchor people. Not interested.

Sell us on this: Your fiery passion to help re-invent the '80's rooted, focus-grouped, yuppie anchors and a news desk, super Doppler ultra weather style. Your personal relationship with the internet, blogs, video-sharing, iPads, Droids, Blackberries, Blueteeth, Facebook & Twitter, and all things Modern Culture. You're in sync with the pulse of the streets, not the PC, Capital "J" journalism world.

Dear Employees

(Via Someecards)

The 6 Crappiest Interview Questions

A great cheat-sheet for your next interview. Read them all at The Oatmeal.

The Post That Started it All

They should just say, if you managed to read this whole thing and didn't die half way through, you're hired!

I dare you to apply. You too, Larry.

Smooches,
Your Hiring Manager

Client Support Specialist - Tax (Atlanta)

Description: The Client Support Specialist - Tax performs various administrative and engagement-detailed work of a responsible nature to support client serving partner(s) and other key engagement team personnel. This individual handles differing situations, problems and deviations in the work of the department or work unit according to general instructions, priorities, policies and program goals. This individual also serves as a facilitator who may coordinate deadlines and either handle them directly or, through others, handle project coordination and completion. In all cases, tasks performed, documents/schedules produced or data entered should be reviewed for accuracy by Tax professionals on the engagement. Tax professionals on engagements should not rely on any formal accounting or tax knowledge or 'professional judgment' by the Enterprise Support Services (ESS) staff member, nor should the ESS staff member provide 'professional advice' to clients, as defined by the Statements on Standards of the Tax Practice, or any other advice to the client. ResponsibilitiesEstablish a systematic method for self and/or engagement team to track and meet time and utilization commitments and the completion of tasks. Communicate and appropriately escalate delays. Schedule own time effectively, meet set deadlines and deliverables communicating delays appropriately. Communicate time at offsite locations to appropriate management. Demonstrate knowledge of engagement and practice group deadlines and utilize calendar/engagement management tools effectively. Assist with various non-technical aspects of client engagements by scheduling activities, confirming changes or delays and making necessary changes. Communicate filing deadlines in a timely manner and keep a calendar for each client, subsidiary and/or deliverable. Format, draft, update and/or edit forms, reports, templates and other engagement documents for review by engagement personnel. Follow an organized or standardized filing/document management process for electronic and paper documents and adhere to record retention policies and procedures. Proactively share knowledge of specific practices, procedures and tools. Effectively import/export information from manual reports or specialty practice automated systems to create spreadsheets, reports. Effectively maintain client engagement document control and implement filing system policies and procedures. Effectively maintain and organize documents on databases and file servers in compliance with document retention guidelines. Develop, edit, manipulate and proofread various engagement documents in compliance with firm standards, with limited guidance. Utilize an organized or standardized document naming convention and file storage system. Clarify instructions and establish deliverable timelines. Add value by applying knowledge to the work processes and resources, structure, and business of the firm, practice and specialty group, including when and how to access them. Act as liaison to facilitate proper flow of information to verify necessary actions are taken. Address and resolve non-technical issues and questions. Effectively participate in practice/engagement specific non-technical processes utilizing appropriate tools. Identify and assist in implementation of process improvements of practice/engagement processes and procedures. Maintain professional relationships with key internal and external client contacts, gaining recognition as a business partner/resource on non-technical questions and issues. Accurately perform data entry and data manipulation utilizing practice/engagement specific tools and databases. Perform quality check of client deliverables, confirming inclusion of all appropriate attachments. Work with firm standard technology, technical equipment and other relevant practice or engagement specific software applications. Know how to access firm knowledge and other relevant business information. Demonstrate proficient use of engagement or practice specific applications and tools, including updating, populating and maintaining data. Use advanced functions of firm standard technology and engagement/practice specific tools and software. May assist others in the use of technology tools. Maintain database and document repositories with knowledge objects, client deliverables, etc. Apply fundamental knowledge of internet/intranet search capabilities and core functions of Lotus Notes. Perform and filter basic research with guidance. Apply technology related regulations and restrictions to day-to-day work processes. Develop and/or apply macros/templates within function specific and firm standard software. Ability to anticipate and respond to the changing environment in a practical and effective way, enabling others to do the same. Explain to colleagues and clients how environmental changes alter how we do things. Take a lead role in resolving uncertainty among peers. When talking about change, illustrate what you mean with practical examples. Help colleagues see the need for change by addressing the fundamental improvements they will help bring about. Ability to put our emphasis on teamwork into practice through being a great team member, and/or team leader, promoting cooperation within and between teams across Ernst & Young. Help all team members feel they belong. Widen your knowledge by participating in teams drawn from other areas of Ernst & Young, including virtual teams. Recognize when team dynamics are adrift and work to put them right. Assemble the right team to achieve business goals by creating the right mix of skills and the right conditions. Stimulate skill development by encouraging team members to learn from each other. Create the structure and conditions to allow information flow within a team. Stay positive and focused when team dynamics are difficult. Promote openness and involvement from all team members. Help the team resolve conflicts and issues. Solicit a constant two-way flow of input and feedback. Ability to apply your knowledge of the business and the industry to identify the real issues facing our clients and provide innovative and pragmatic insights and solutions while adhering to our independence and Quality and Risk Management (QRM) policies. Determine whether a business need or solution requires a supporting change management effort. Assimilate unfamiliar issues rapidly. Anticipate process, structural or political issues that could affect the success of our work. Blend data, firm policies and judgment to devise a range of workable solutions. Solve complex problems in your own and other's fields, evaluating the benefits and likelihood of success. Alert clients to technical developments pronouncements in their own and related industries. Communicate effectively with critical stakeholders to increase a solution's chances of success. Ability to focus efforts on external and internal clients, address their present and future needs, provide quality service and ensure client satisfaction. Anticipate what clients will want and follow up to check that they're completely satisfied. Demonstrate the value of the team's work by keeping the client up-to-date, and explaining issues, approaches and solutions (i.e., manage expectations). Help colleagues understand the broader picture of technical, ethical and financial needs. Analyze client needs beyond own responsibilities to understand the context for the current work in progress. Ensure that the team knows who the important and potential leaders are in client teams. Involve clients when planning and preparing work/assignments, and treat them as key members of the team, helping them to understand the policies (firm or regulatory) that impact on their business. Ability to explore and understand the key drivers affecting Ernst & Young and our clients within the broader business environment. Articulate how different cultures impact the way business is managed across countries. Maintain an external focus by keeping up-to-date with professional organizations, markets, trends and legislation. Discuss key client developments in a way that furthers team members understanding. Analyze the client's business environment (e.g. industry) to understand the context for the services Ernst & Young offers. Alert clients and colleagues to social, economic and demographic trends likely to affect Ernst & Young and our clients' business. Ability to deliver projects effectively by splitting them into their component activities and making sure each component is assigned, prioritized and monitored. Set up full project plans rapidly for small project teams, including: objectives, milestones, priorities, team, calendar and nature of deliverables. Monitor teams' progress and regularly update stakeholders on potential overruns and changes; re-negotiate timelines and budgets if necessary. Balance multiple priorities by considering risk, importance, level of urgency, political impacts and other linkages. Work with team members to break complex goals into 'bite-sized' chunks. Use the right project tools and methodologies for your practice. Alert stakeholders when project scope changes; make the implications clear. This individual must be available for overtime, as needed, and must have an excellent attendance and punctuality record.

Requirements: To qualify, candidates must have: a bachelor's degree in a related discipline, or equivalent work experience approximately 5-7 years of related work experience Knowledge and Skills Requirements Effective interpersonal and communication skills and the ability to interface with personnel at all levels, both orally and in writing Ability to improve standardized best practices and service deliveries to accomplish firm, group, customer and/or individual goals Ability to meet new challenges with an open mind and an optimistic response and take initiative by anticipating customer needs and completing assignments without request or discretion; an understanding and demonstration of firm values Ability to quickly gain in-depth knowledge of the firm's structure, key personnel and organizational policies and procedures, in addition to a functional knowledge of a professional services environment Ability to successfully manage and coordinate simultaneous projects with multiple-level tasks and functions independently, while exercising good judgment Proficiency in the use of standardized software and hardware applications, including MS Word, Excel, and Lotus Notes